Busy mamas are frustrated with fat loss because they don’t understand this one secret

After I had my three kiddos, I set a goal, like most postpartum mamas, to get my body back. It was a long journey, but not only did I get my body back, but I also pushed it further than I ever had before. I even competed in a body-building competition and was told countless times how amazing I looked. The problem was that underneath it all, I still wasn’t happy with my body.

For generations, women have been unhappy with their bodies. It doesn’t matter if we’re skinny or fat, we’re constantly told that our bodies aren’t good enough. And we repeat that back to ourselves. No matter how much weight we lose, or how skinny we look, it’s never enough.

And it took me losing a ton of weight, constantly pushing myself in the gym, and tracking every gram of food that I put in my mouth before I realized that being healthy isn’t about the food. It’s not about the gym. It’s not about being skinny. It’s not about the number on the scale.

Women are frustrated with themselves and with diet culture because they don’t realize that being healthy is about happiness. It’s about how we look at ourselves and how we talk about ourselves. And no number on the scale can give us that.

Food and exercise aren’t the biggest factors in health

When I was preparing for my body-building competition, I was meticulous about what I ate and how much time I spent in the gym.

And from the outside everyone assumed I was the healthiest I had ever been. I was super ripped. I had an amazing six-pack. I had big, lean biceps. I looked like I had it all, but I was probably the most unhealthy that I had ever been.

I was so consumed by my food and workouts that it led to really unhealthy behaviors. I would have huge binge sessions, where I’d spend $100+ on fast food, eat it all and then hide the wrappers so no one would know.

After the competition, I was supposed to start working my way up into eating more food, but I didn’t want to because I was so focused on how I looked. I couldn’t give up the abs I’d worked so hard for. I needed them to prove that I was good enough. That I was strong enough. That I deserved to be in the weight loss industry at all.

When I started dodging calls and texts from my coach because I didn’t want her to know what I was going through, it hit me that I was headed down a dangerous path.

Maybe you haven’t been through a body-building competition, but I bet you can still relate to my story.

Maybe you’ve set a goal to lose weight, but it was hard and when things got too hard, you went to food to make yourself feel better. But you didn’t tell anyone. You hid the evidence so no one could be disappointed in you.

Maybe you dodged the question from your family or friends about how your diet was going.

Traditional diets focus so much on food and exercise. They tell us that we have to burn more and more calories so that we can lose weight. And we keep trying and keep trying, but it’s not working!
It’s not working because that’s not what it takes to be healthy.

That’s not even helpful advice if you want to be thinner! 

Your body has one main focus: to keep you alive. 

It doesn’t care if you want to weigh 135 pounds. If it feels like it’s not safe it will hold onto every ounce of food you give it to sustain life. And if you’ve been dieting for years, then cutting calories isn’t going to do it anymore.

Your body needs to know that it’s safe and you can show it that it’s safe by giving it a consistent amount of food.

That might mean moving out of a calorie deficit. That might mean not restricting during the week and binging on the weekends. I don’t know what that means for you, yet. 

But I do know how to help get you and your body out of stress mode and into safe mode so that you can eat more, and still lose weight.

There’s a way to balance your food so that your body recognizes that it’s safe to start burning fat again. And I want to help you with that because it’s a really important part of your health, but it’s only half of the solution to weight loss.

Loving yourself and your body unlocks fat loss

It took me a while after my body-building competition to realize that even though my abs were awesome, they didn’t define my worth and I was just as good of a person with or without them.

This realization didn’t happen overnight. It came through a lot of mindset work.

When I dove into weight loss, I thought if I just found the right diet I could do it. With my athletic background, that was true. I knew how to push myself to achieve success. But even when I hit the perfect physique or the number on the scale I’d been pursuing for years, I discovered that’s not what I was actually looking for.

I was looking for acceptance and love from myself. But that doesn’t come through dieting or even reaching a goal.

Self-love and acceptance come from changing how you think and feel about yourself along the way - not just when you get there.

When I added in mindset work it unlocked the results I was looking for!

I’m no longer at the same weight, muscle mass or fat percentage as I was when I was body building, but I’m so much happier.

Instead of fighting my body for a number on the scale, I know what weight feels good for me. If I want to shed a few pounds, for a trip or a photoshoot, I have strategies to help me to do that. 

And I have strategies that help me process days where the scale goes up a little (like when I’m leading up to my period, or on a day I over ate a little bit.)

But having the knowledge and mindset tools I teach inside my Macros Made Easy Program, helps me remember what’s most important to me, me! And it’s not a number on the scale.

Mama, if you’ve been on a weight loss journey and you feel like no matter what you do, you’ll never reach your goals or feel comfortable in your skin, then I want you to reevaluate your goals. Is the number on the scale the most important thing or is loving yourself more important to you?

If loving yourself is your true goal, then we need to work on your mindset while helping you develop healthy eating habits. I offer a free Healthy Mama Blueprint call to anyone who wants to learn how to combine macros and mindset to achieve their goals, and I think it would be a good fit for you. Schedule a call if you want to love yourself more, eat more and still lose weight!

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