How to use your future self to dream bigger and achieve more
How are your New Year’s resolutions going? Are you at that point where you’re still excited about them, or have you hit a wall? Sometimes we set big audacious goals for the new year, but within a few days or a few weeks we run out of steam and we slowly go back to our old ways. There’s a simple reason for this! You’re not setting goals, and implementing habits from your future self!
The new year always seems like a time when people dream bigger. As people reflect on what they did with their lives over the last year, the goals that they didn’t reach, and what they want their lives to look like, they let their imaginations run wild and they set amazing goals.
I think it’s awesome.
You should dream big! You should set huge, outrageous, exciting goals for yourself.
But you need to be doing more than just setting a goal. You need to start with that dream, and then get a crystal clear understanding of what the person who has accomplished that dream looked like: aka what Future You looks like. And that’s what I’m going to teach you how to do today.
The difference between who you want to be and who you’re going to be
In the past, when you’ve set those exciting New Year’s resolutions and you had great intentions of accomplishing them. You could see the woman you wanted to be once you accomplished your goals. It was a great start, but there’s a difference between knowing who you want to be and who you’re GOING to be.
People fall into what I call the New Year’s Resolution Cycle. In the New Year’s Resolution Cycle, you start out by dreaming big, you work hard for a few weeks, and then something gets in your way or it feels too hard to keep up these new habits, so you give up. I’ve gotten caught in this cycle so many times and I’m sure you have too!
New Year’s resolutions are great but most of us weren’t taught how to get through those roadblocks. Dreaming of who you want to be (aka setting resolutions) isn’t enough. After you set your goals you need to dive into who you’re going to be when you reach that goal, and suddenly you have a guide on this new path: Future You!
Future You has already accomplished your goals. So when a new roadblock pops up she knows what it looks like to be on the other side of it. She understands how hard and painful each roadblock can be but she also knows how worth it is is to keep pushing through. When you learn to lean on her you don’t have to waste time fretting, and thinking, and second-guessing yourself. You can trust Future You and put a plan into place asap.
If you want to be able to lean on her when you hit those roadblocks, then you need to know her; really, really know her.
And the best part is that you get to dream up exactly who she is! But the key here is to be super specific.
What does Future You look like?
How does she think and feel about herself?
How does she treat the people around her?
How does she act in relationships?
How does she handle hard situations?
What are her coping mechanisms?
What does she do to celebrate?
What are her likes and dislikes?
What habits has she built?
What are her must-dos and must-not-dos?
When I have my clients do this exercise, I tell them to imagine a day as their future self. What do you do on a typical day? When do you wake up? How do you feel when you wake up? What do you think when you look in the mirror as you brush your teeth?
You have to get very specific because you need to know what you’re working towards. The more clarity you have on who Future You is and how she thinks, feels and acts the easier it is to tap into her when you need her.
I want to give you a quick example of what it looks like to tap into Future You.
Let’s say that you are trying to lose weight. You made a meal plan at the beginning of the week, but now it’s Wednesday and you look at your meal plan and your first thought is. “That doesn’t sound good.”
You have two options. You can listen to your Before Self who is telling you that you should only eat food when it sounds good. Or, you can listen to your Future Self.
Your Future Self knows that not every meal on the way to your goals is going to blow your mind. Sometimes you eat for fuel rather than taste and the meal you planned is going to help you reach that goal. Plus, it’s just one meal. You can enjoy a treat another time.
As you learn to think about life from the point of view of having reached your goals it becomes easier to make the decisions that will get you there.
I need you to do this exercise for yourself. You will have to slow down, sit quietly and really think about who you are going to be in the future and what habits you’re going to have. Write all of these things down! Writing is an essential part of creating this vision. Writing down who you’re going to be on paper gives you something tangible to go back to when the going gets tough.
Once you do this exercise you’ll be well on your way to accomplishing your goals because you will have laid a solid foundation for success.
How to use your Future Self to reach your goals.
Now that you intimately know your Future Self, I want to talk to you about how to use your Future Self to overcome hurdles in your journey.
Let’s take a quick step back into who you are now. I’m going to refer to who you are now as your Before Self.
As you go along this journey toward your Future Self, you’re going to have ups and downs. You’re going to have amazing moments where everything goes the way you want it to, but you’re also going to trip up and make a lot of mistakes along the way.
When you make a mistake you have two ways of handling it; from your Before Self or from your Future Self.
Your Before Self isn’t going to want you to keep going when things get tough. She might belittle you and tell you that she knew you couldn’t do this. She’s going to pull out any tactic she can to get you to go back to your old habits. She might seem kind of mean, but she’s actually just scared.
Your brain is very primitive and honestly, a little lazy! It does its very best to keep you happy and comfortable. But growth is scary and uncomfortable, so when you’re given a choice to go back to comfort or keep pressing on, your brain is going to root for going back to where you were before. It’s not that you can’t do it, it’s that your brain wants to keep you safe and secure. And change requires taking a little risk.
This is why you have to lean on your Future Self.
Your Future Self is going to have a leg up in this situation because she’s already been there and she knows how to get back up and keep going. She’s going to have the words of encouragement that you need to hear when you make a mistake. (This is a big reason why you need to understand how your Future Self talks to the people around her and what kinds of words she uses. You need her to say those words to you!) Plus, her brain already knows that there is safety around the corner if you just keep pressing on.
She also knows exactly what your next step needs to be so that you can climb out of this valley and reach a new peak.
I know that without guidance it can be hard to learn how to think from your future self. This is why I like to help mamas in my Macros Made Easy program with this mindset piece. Not only do I teach this topic more in-depth, but you have access to me, someone who has been stuck exactly where you are now and I have worked hard to step into my Future Self. Which means I can help you do it too! It’s like having two Future Yous to lean on!
If you need support and a Future Self to give you advise and pep talks as you make your own trek, then let’s chat. Together we can help you reach your health and weight loss goals in a sustainable way!
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