Mama, the reason you can’t lose weight is that you’re too focused on helping everyone else first
Mama, I know you’ve tried and tried and tried to lose weight. You’ve done every diet available. You’ve stopped eating the food you love. You’ve even shelled out cash for the quick fixes because you were so desperate to feel good about yourself again! But did it occur to you that the reason you can’t lose the weight is that you’re too busy helping everyone around you?
Seriously! Your selfless attitude could be the thing that’s holding you back from reaching your weight loss goals! If you always put your kids, your husband, the neighbor’s needs ahead of your own, then you’ll never have time to do what you need.
Notice I said need, not want. Your health, physical and mental, are the most important things not only for you but for your family! When you take time to care for yourself, then you set the whole family up for success!
As a busy mom myself, I understand that this is easier said than done, so I want to give you three ways to be more selfish so that you can not only achieve your weight loss goals but also be a better mom/wife/sister/daughter/friend/worker or whatever title you hold!
Decide on what’s important to YOU
Now, it may have been a few years since you thought about yourself first, but I want you to sit down with a pen and paper and think about what is important to you. Not to your kids. Not to your spouse. Not to the other moms. What’s important to YOU? Now, write those things down.
If losing weight is on that list, then you need to decide how you want to go about that. Is exercising important to you? Is eating healthy meals important? When you decide what’s important to you it gives you the building blocks to start shaping the life you want instead of the life someone else wants.
Once you know what your priorities are, it’s time to come up with a plan! One of my priorities is eating dinner as a family. I know I don’t want to make a different meal for my kids and myself so, I make it a priority to make one meal that the whole family can eat. When I do this, I make sure that my nutritional needs are met with the meal. I don’t give up my goals and happiness to accommodate my kids’ love of chicken nuggets.
When I do this, it rewards me in two areas. First, I honored my needs and was able to enjoy a meal that keeps me on track. Second, I kept a promise to myself and by doing that, I showed myself and my kids that I am worthy. When your kids see you making decisions that are for your good, they internalize that and they begin to do the same thing. What you first thought was selfish, suddenly becomes self-less! Bam!
Create systems that make it easy to stick to your priorities
Once you know what you want to do, then you need to create a plan or system to help you accomplish those things! Having a plan makes it is easier to begin and follow through on a habit!
When you’re creating your systems you need to do two things:
Make sure that you plan enough time to accomplish the tasks. For example, if you are choosing to cook dinner on weeknights, you need to set aside enough time to do that! If you only allow for 30 minutes to prepare a recipe that calls for 20 minutes of prep and 40 minutes of cook time, then you’re simply not going to do it because you don’t have the time! Don’t set yourself up to fail anymore. Plan ahead and set aside enough time for you to be successful!
Don’t plan to do your new habit when you might get interrupted. For example, if you decide to start working out, don’t plan to workout during your kids’ breakfast time. Inevitably, your kids will need something from you and you’ll have to push your workout back or skip it altogether. Instead plan to workout at a time where you aren’t needed! You should set a time to workout out where you have as few distractions or interruptions as possible, but remember, it’s ok to tell other people no (even your kids!) during that time! That’s YOUR time. Don’t let anyone take it from you!
When I’m creating my own plans, I grab a calendar and look at what I have going on each day and then I decide when I’m going to meal plan, prep, workout, etc. Just like I block off my calendar for my kids’ practices and games, I block off time for the activities that are important to me and my health.
Protect your priorities from everyone, even yourself!
This is the hardest step in any health journey because one way or another, someone is going to ask you to give up what you want for what they want. It might be your kids begging you to grab fast food after soccer practice. It might be another mom on the PTA asking you to cover for her when you’re supposed to hit the gym. It might even be that you don’t want to cook dinner and ordering takeout would be so much easier. But, you have to learn to protect your priorities from everyone!
This is where our natural selflessness starts to kick in. Instinctively, we want to help everyone out but we need to look at the repercussions of saying yes, and see how that will impact our priorities.
What our kids, spouses, friends, etc, need might not seem like a big deal, but when you skip the gym, eat outside of your boundaries and stay up late to finish putting together your kid’s school spirit shirt, you aren’t showing yourself love. You’re just saying that you aren’t as important as everyone else. But Mama, you are worthy.
You are a priority and you deserve to treat yourself like one. Let me tell you a secret, no one else is going to make you a priority; only you can do that. When you start to value yourself, your time, your health, everyone else will start to value that too.
If you feel like you need someone to cheer you on and help you create a system that will help you live the healthy life of your dreams, then let’s chat! I can be that person. Schedule a free discovery call today and put your needs first!
