Why Busy mamas need to prioritize their health - especially during a recession
Have you felt the strain of the last year? Have you stressed over the rising prices of everything while trying to live a happy, healthy life? I have. Man, 2023 was a rough year. I felt things slow down so much. I felt all the stress of trying to care for a family while navigating another recession and I heard from mamas all year who wanted to invest in their health but felt like they couldn’t afford it.
And Mama, I get that. I get that sometimes money is tight and you have to give up some things to afford the things you absolutely need.
But I also know the importance of not sacrificing your happiness for the sake of everyone else.
A few years ago, I had a client, Suzanne, who was nervous to join my program because she felt guilty spending money on herself. But, she really wanted to focus on her health and start making changes to feel better.
Suzanne was suffering from, what I call, martyr mom syndrome. Martyr mom syndrome is when you give up everything you want to make your kids, husband, or just anyone and everyone else happy.
Suzanne grew up watching the women in her family give everything they had to things outside of themselves. Her whole life she saw her grandmothers and her mother give, and give, and give. She thought that’s how you were a good mom, so she did it too.
It wasn’t until she joined my program that she realized that she hadn’t made her needs a priority and it was the biggest reason why she’d been struggling with her weight.
I have to share what she said one day during a check-in call because it literally brought me to tears.
“I have had so many mind-blowing realizations in just such a short period of time about how I treated myself. Particularly in service of other people and always thinking that that was the right thing to do to just sort of give myself over to everyone and everything and to not take myself into consideration.
The shift that I've made in just a few weeks has not only helped me a great deal but I feel like the people in my life feel it too because I'm able to be even more appreciative and more loving and more giving because I'm giving to myself as well. And that's something that I’m not sure why I couldn't come to it on my own, but after 45 years it feels crazy to just now be realizing it.”
Suzanne had no idea she was a martyr mom, and it took putting herself first to realize how much better of a mom she could be when she made herself a priority.
Mama, I know times are tight, but I want to talk to you about how you can still prioritize your needs and your health so that you can show up as the amazing mama you are.
Give up the Martyr Mom mentality
There’s a big difference between making sacrifices for your kids so that they can have a good life and being a martyr mom. Martyr moms deny themselves what they need so that their kids can have what they want.
A martyr mom will volunteer in her kids’ classrooms even though she doesn’t have the time. She’ll eat bits and pieces off her kids’ plates because she’s too tired to make a real meal for herself. She’ll put off buying something she really needs so that her kids can have another trip to Disneyland - even though they’ve been there this year.
Martyr moms wear themselves down until there’s nothing left to give.
Martyr moms also resent that no one appreciates everything they’re sacrificing for their families. They complain about their situation and how everyone else is the reason for their unhappiness. They push their feelings down until they can’t anymore.
Just like Suzanne discovered, being a martyr mom doesn’t serve anyone. It looks good from the outside, but it hurts everyone on the inside.
Instead of holding onto the martyr mom mentality, you need to take a look at yourself and learn how to prioritize your needs just like you do your family’s!
Put your needs at the top of your list
You know when you’re on an airplane and they play the safety video? There’s a line where they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping anyone else, even children. Because you don’t want to pass out from lack of oxygen while you’re trying to help your kid get their mask on. The same idea applies to fulfilling your needs.
You cannot take care of your family if you’re running on fumes. You can’t show up for your family and be the leader that you need to be for them if you don’t take care of your physical and mental health first.
Start caring for yourself
Have you ever considered what your needs are? I don’t know about you, but a few years ago this wasn’t a question I had ever asked myself.
I never thought about what my needs were! I knew how to soothe myself when things got hard - but it was either with food or shopping, both of which came back to bite me in the butt.
When I self-soothed with food I put on so much weight I didn’t recognize myself and when I shopped my husband would tell me to stop spending so much money. Bahahaha
Instead of self-soothing, I recommend that you start learning how to find the root problem and then take care of yourself. The three areas that have made the biggest difference for me are:
Nutrition
Mindset
Physical health
When I invested time and money into learning about these three things I started to take control of my life and it has literally changed everything for me!
I used to be a run-down mom living off leftover dino nuggets and apple juice out of a sippy cup. Now, I’m a strong mama who gets enough food to keep up with her kids! I’m a woman who prioritizes sleep and water over being overly caffeinated and struggling to make it through the day.
But I only got to this place because I invested in learning about my health and what it took for me to feel good. And let me tell you something Mama, you deserve to learn what your needs are. It’s the most important thing we can do for ourselves. And it 100% trickles down to our families.
Watch for the changes in your family
We started this chat by saying that we don’t care for ourselves because our family is our greatest priority, but the crazy thing is that when you start to care for yourself, your family does better.
When you eat food that fuels you, you have the energy to keep up with the high-energy toddler running around your house. When you work out, you set an example for your son that his health is important. When you say no to something you don’t want to do, you show your teenage daughter that her time is important.
Our kids and spouses are constantly watching us, which means we need to lead by example. We need to serve our families out of love, not obligation! When we make this shift the whole family shifts with us.
During a weekly check-in call, my client Chelsea mentioned that her husband had noticed not just a change in her body or weight during her time in the Macros Made Easy program, but he had noticed an entire shift in her energy and attitude. He wanted her to continue in the program even though it had been a big leap to take financially when she first started.
“My husband and I had a conversation because my time in the program is up and I decided to continue to do weekly check-ins instead of monthly check-ins. In the beginning, this was a big expense, but I’ve been really successful. And overall, my entire demeanor has changed everything has been so much more positive. And my husband said, “Babe I think you need to keep going. Let’s do it!”
We don’t always realize when we are miserable in our bodies, but our families see it and feel it. They want us to be happy. They want us to love ourselves. They aren’t usually the ones stopping us from taking care of ourselves. It’s us. As mamas, we tell ourselves that we can’t or we shouldn’t.
Which means we also have to be the ones to say yes. We have to give ourselves permission to invest in our health. To dedicate time or money to learning how to care for ourselves. Sometimes we know how to do that, and sometimes we don’t.
If you don’t feel like you know how to be healthy or have struggled to do it on your own in the past, then it might be time to invest in a coach. A coach can help teach you what healthy looks like. And a coach can be there when you want to give up.
I had my own coach when I started my macros journey and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself! Trying to DIY it for so long had left me feeling hopeless about ever losing the baby weight and feeling like myself again.
Now, I can be that for you. My Macros Made Easy program addresses the physical and mental roadblocks that busy mamas face and gives you an individualized plan to make sure you reach your goals. If you’re ready to learn what healthy looks like for you, then schedule a Healthy Mama Blueprint Call. Start taking care of yourself, mama!
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