Mama, if you want a happy and healthy family, then your health and happiness should be at the top of your priority list
The number one objection I hear from mamas about investing in their health is that they don’t want to take resources away from their families. Their kids have sports that they’re paying for. They want to go on a family vacation. Their husband is buying something. And while I know that sometimes it’s about the money, it’s usually not about the money. The real problem is that mamas don’t put their needs at the top of the list.
For generations, women have been told that their needs are the least important. We even consider it noble to be completely run down and exhausted as long as the rest of the family is thriving.
But let me tell you a secret. If you’re exhausted, unhappy, and frustrated with where you’re at, then you won’t have a happy family.
If you want your kids to grow up knowing how to handle physical and emotional challenges then you have to lead the way by example. The best way to do that is to prioritize your health and happiness.
Give up the Martyr Mom mentality
A martyr mom sacrifices every single thing in her life to help everyone else. She’ll give up buying herself something she needs so that her kids can have something they want. She’ll volunteer in her kids’ classrooms even though she doesn’t have the time. She’ll eat bits and pieces off her kids’ plates because she’s too tired to make a real meal for herself. Martyr moms wear themselves down until there’s nothing left to give.
Martyr moms also get frustrated and resent the fact that no one appreciates everything they sacrifice for their families. They complain about their situation and how everyone else is the reason for their unhappiness. They push their feelings down until they can’t anymore.
Being a martyr mom doesn’t serve anyone. It looks good from the outside, but it hurts everyone on the inside.
Instead of holding onto the martyr mom mentality, we need to realize that everyone has needs and everyone deserves to have their needs met!
When you stop pushing your needs to the bottom of the list and start taking care of yourself everything changes!
Put your needs at the top of your list
So how do you break out of the martyr mom mentality? You recognize your needs and you make them your top priority.
You know when you’re on an airplane and they play the safety video? There’s a line where they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping anyone else, even children. You don’t want to pass out from lack of oxygen while you’re trying to help your kid get their mask on. That would be completely useless!
The same idea applies to fulfilling your needs. You cannot take care of your family if you’re worn out. You can’t prepare a healthy dinner for your family if you’re running on fumes.
If you want to be Supermom, you have to make sure that your needs as a human being are taken care of first. Once you have filled your cup, then you can pour into everyone else. Here’s how I make sure my needs are met.
Start a morning routine
I strongly believe in creating a morning routine so that you can start the day off on the right foot. A morning routine should inspire you to tackle the rest of your day.
The only thing you must do for your morning routine is wake up before your kids. Once the kids are up, they want something from you. You need time to just focus on yourself, so you need to make sure your morning routine won’t be interrupted.
I start my morning routine off with a cup of coffee and then I pour into my personal development. I listen to devotionals, write in my journal, and practice daily gratitude. This is what fills my cup. Your morning routine should fill your cup. Here are more ideas of how to create a morning routine.
Literally, put your name at the top of your to-do list
Where do your needs go on your to-do list? I was talking with my client Suzanne and she said that in the last 20+ years she had been making a to-do list the order went: her son, her business, her. If you’ve ever made a to-do list, you know that you only make it through the first few items, which meant that Suzanne was taking care of her son’s needs, her business needs, and then was too exhausted to take care of her own needs.
While she was in my Macros Made Easy Program she started to realize that she wasn’t caring for herself like she wanted to. One day she went to make her list and she put her name down first! It went her, her son, and then her business. She reprioritized her life and made sure that she was a priority!
The truth is that if you don’t make yourself a priority, no one else will either. Humans are programmed to look out for themselves first. No matter how much the people in your life love you, they are just programmed to serve their needs first. You can do the same thing. Simply writing your name down on the list is proof that you are worthy of time, attention and love.
Create a personalized self-care list
Have you ever considered what your needs are? When I talk to mamas who are at the beginning of a self-care journey, I recommend creating a self-care manual for themselves.
Think about this, if there was a manual on how to care for you, what would be in it? What would you tell people to avoid doing? What would you want them to do for you?
Self-care is a huge topic and it ranges from our mental and physical needs to the small things that simply make us happy. I truly believe that your nutrition needs to be a part of your self-care because the food we eat determines how we feel.
Taking steps towards our physical health can help us mentally as well! As Elle Woods says, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.”
Begin to take notice of what makes you happy, what brings you peace, what excites you and then start to create a personalized list of self-care ideas. When life starts to get crazy, you can turn to this list and find a way to soothe yourself or relax.
Watch for the changes in your family
We started off this chat by saying that we don’t care for ourselves because our family is our greatest priority, but the crazy thing is that when you start to care for yourself, your family does better.
When you eat food that fuels you, you have the energy to keep up with the high-energy toddler running around your house. When you workout, you set an example for your son that his health is important. When you say no to something you don’t want to do, you show your teenage daughter that her time is important.
Our kids and spouses are constantly watching us, which means we need to lead by example. We need to serve our families out of love, not obligation! When we make this shift the whole family shifts with us.
During a weekly check-in call, my client Chelsea mentioned that her husband had noticed not just a change in her body or weight during her time in the Macros Made Easy program, but he had noticed an entire shift in her energy and attitude. He wanted her to continue on in the program even though it had been a big leap to take financially when she first started.
“My husband and I had a conversation because my time in the program is up and I decided to continue to do weekly check-ins instead of monthly check-ins. In the beginning, this was a big expense, but I’ve been really successful. And overall, my entire demeanor has changed everything has been so much more positive. And my husband said, “Babe I think you need to keep going. Let’s do it!”
We don’t realize that when we are miserable in our skin that our families see it and feel it. They want us to be happy. They want us to love ourselves. We just have to be willing to give the gift of love to ourselves. No one else can do it for us.
If you don’t love who you are or where you’re at in your health journey, then it’s time to make a change! My Macros Made Easy program will address the physical changes you need to make as well as the mental ones so that you can overcome the hurdles that have been standing in your way for years! If you’re ready to make that change, then schedule a free discovery call with me and let’s chat. We’ll make sure this is the right fit for you!
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